When your friend or family member finds themselves in the NICU with their brand new baby, it can pose some unfamiliar territory for your relationship. It’s easy to feel helpless when it comes to supporting a NICU mama and her family, but where there’s a will, there’s a way! There are a vast number of ways you can support her and her new little one, and we’ve rounded up some of the top ways to be there for your loved one!
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
This is probably the absolute most important — as hard a time as you’re having understanding what you can do, she’s struggling even more! This is likely not the way she envisioned her birth experience, so any kind of emotional and verbal support you can offer her will go a long way in making her feel a little more comfortable in her situation.
Respect her boundaries. Being in the NICU can be both overwhelming and exhausting, which can make answering concerned family members’ questions too difficult to handle. If she’s not ready for phone calls, texts, or explanations, make sure you respect that and let her tell you when she’s ready.
Be excited. Congratulate her — she did just have a baby after all! Make sure you arrive with the same celebratory response as you would a perfectly healthy baby. She’ll appreciate the reminder that she’s still a brand new mama.
Understand her visitor status. If she doesn’t want you to visit, it’s important that you’re completely okay with it. She may feel overwhelmed, she may feel cautious about her baby’s health, she may have been told there are no visitors allowed. Whatever the reason, respect her decision to turn away your visit.
Don’t visit if you’re sick. Even if the new mama is 100% ready for new visitors, respect her baby’s health enough to avoid visiting if you’re sick! Whether it’s a small cough or head cold, or something more serious, steer clear.
Listen. She is going through a lot. Having an ear to vent to, shoulder to cry on, and friend to listen to her will do wonders for her sanity! Be there for her any time she needs to talk, and make sure to be an active listener for her.
Be available. Try to be emotionally available when your friend needs it. It may take her some time to be ready to share, so being there when that time comes will be so helpful to her.
THINGS YOU CAN DO
If you feel more inclined to physically do something to support your friend, there are several great way you can help a NICU mama survive her stay!
Pet-sit. Even with the arrival of a perfectly healthy baby, pets can get lost in the crazy shuffle of new parenthood! Offer to watch (and walk!) your friend’s beloved furry friend during their stay in the NICU. (Bonus points if you continue after they come home!)
Clean their home. It may seem a little weird, but any mama would love to come home to a clean house! She likely won’t be able to spend much time at home during her NICU stay, with the exception of grabbing things or dropping them off — leaving much-needed housework undone. Offer to swing by and tidy up for her!
Laundry. Offer to do a few loads of dirty laundry either at her home, the nearby laundromat, or the dry cleaner! It will be a huge weight lifted off her shoulders knowing that her family’s clothing is cleaned and fresh!
Meal prep. Offer to bring a home-cooked meal by the NICU, or stock her freezer with casserole dishes to keep her settled in after a long NICU stay!
Run errands. Offer to tie up any loose ends she may have–she likely didn’t expect much more than a couple-day hospital stay, so her to-do list just keeps growing!
GIFTS YOU CAN GIVE
If gift giving is more your style, there are plenty of small (and larger!) gifts you can offer a NICU mama to make her time a little easier.
Gift cards. Gift cards to nearby restaurants, gas stations, or even massages and mani/pedis can do wonders for a NICU mama! Shoot for restaurants that deliver, so she can order some up to the hospital, and gas stations somewhere between her home and the hospital.
Parking passes. Some hospitals charge for parking in their decks. Try to take that load of the new mama in your life so it’s one less thing she has to stress about! You can talk to the front desk of the hospital about what you can do to snag some passes for her.
Transportation. Many new mamas are unable to drive, in the event of a C-section, or just if she typically needs to use public transportation! Offer to pay for Ubers or Lyfts for her, unless you can offer rides yourself! She’ll be doing a lot of traveling from home to the hospital during this time.
Care packages. If you’re joining forces with an office team or a few family members, a care package is the perfect way to get multiple people involved! Build a cute basket filled with coffee, hand sanitizer, books, magazines, a nice water bottle, cooler bags for milk, easy snacks, nursing covers (if she’s breastfeeding), a journal to log the special moments, etc! It’s a gift she’ll truly cherish!
Remember, the biggest and best thing you can do for a new mama staying in the NICU is love and support her! She’s got a long road ahead of her, but with the right support system will come out stronger and more confident than ever!